the friend ratio

Have you ever thought about your guy/girl friend ratio? By that I don’t mean boyfriends and girlfriends. I’m literally talking about the number of male friends you have vs. the number of female friends you have.

I started thinking about it a few months ago because it occurred to me that I have many more guy friends than I do girl friends. The ratio is something like 5:1 (5 guy friends to every 1 female friend). To be more accurate, I’m only looking at the people whom I interact with on a somewhat regular basis (so no facebook friends or old school buddies whom I don’t talk to anymore). I’m curious to know what the norm is because this was not always the case for me.

Up until the end of high school, the majority of my friends were females; I always hung out with the girls at school, and through all my years at dance class I was always among girls. You can pretty much say I grew up with mainly female friends. After high school, though, that seemed to change completely. I became better friends with more guys than I did with girls.

It took a while for me to figure out what might possibly be the reasoning behind this great shift in gender when it comes to friendships. I found that as we got older, some girls became more judgmental and materialistic. There would often be some sort of subliminal competition between girls; who has the nicer hair, the cooler clothes, the cuter boyfriend. Sometimes it would turn into jealousy which, in my opinion, should not be present in a real friendship.

With my guy friends, I can very easily get along with them because there is NEVER any kind of competition. I’m able to talk with them about almost anything and I don’t have to worry about them judging me in any way. It’s even better when my guy friends have girlfriends because then I also don’t have to worry about them getting the wrong idea. People sometimes worry about being friends with the opposite sex because it often comes off as flirting. If it is indeed just about being friends, I always try to make it clear that my friendship is sincere and that it’s not meant to be mistaken as wanting a relationship.

To be fair, not all girls are as bad as I might’ve described them to be. I do have a good handful or two of female friends who are really close and dear to me. All of them share the same values as I do and we get along really well (so no cat fights lol). Most of the girls I choose to become friends with are real; they’re straight forward and don’t sugarcoat things. I actually prefer being around people like that, but I guess I just happen to know more of them in male form.

All in all, no matter if they’re guys or girls, honesty and sincerity from my friends are extremely important to me. As an only child, my friends make up the family I choose and, in turn, they make up who I am.

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