sweet goodbye

Yesterday was my cousin’s funeral. Ever since we got the news earlier in the week, I’ve been pretty calm and have tried to look at it positively. It wasn’t until I had arrived at the visitation centre for the viewing that the emotions came flooding in.

Above the casket hung a video screen. I sat there quietly by myself for an hour, watching the slideshow of my cousin’s photographs. There were photos of him as a baby and many others of him with my cousins. When I saw a picture of him at my parent’s wedding I remember thinking to myself, “Wow, I wasn’t even born at the time!” Then I saw one particular photo. My cousin was sitting at the piano with a little 3 year old girl dressed in a bright pink outfit. She had short hair and big curious eyes.

That little girl was me.

When I saw that picture, a pool of tears formed in my eyes. In my head all I heard was my cousin’s voice, even though I couldn’t make out the words he said. That picture of me and him sitting on the piano bench reminded me of what he was like. And although I never really got to know him very well, I know my faint memories of him will always remain with me.

I guess goodbyes are never easy to say and the idea of having to part with people you love and care about can be hard to digest. But inevitably, it is a part of life that we all must experience at one point or another.

After the service, my parents and I along with other relatives visited the grave of my grandparents. We decorated it with some flowers and cleaned off the headstone. It was a beautiful sunny afternoon. I felt like it was the perfect close to another chapter of my life.

may he rest in peace

My cousin John passed away on Monday. Although we had been expecting the news for some time, it still didn’t fail to come as a shock to us. I was never very close with him, probably because he was much older than I. In my memory, I remember him as a funny and caring fellow. He was a photographer. I vaguely remember posing as his model when I was 3 years old. That was my first memory of him.

August 2007 was the last time I saw him. He was recovering from cancer at the time. I remember he took me up to his room to show me his portfolio and equipment. He was an amazing photographer. After spending some time talking with me about photography techniques, he said maybe next time I’m over he’ll show me the rest of his photographs. But I guess that day never came.

From what I heard, my cousin John left very peacefully with family at his side. There was no pain, no suffering. And perhaps that is the best thing that could have happened.