+ on traveling
Now that school is pretty much over for me, my greatest desire is to spend some time traveling. For years I’ve been tied down by school and work. I feel that right now is the best time. Right now when I’m not committed to a full-time job, a relationship, or a family. With a ft job, it’s harder to take long periods of time off. When you’re engaged in a relationship, it’s no guarantee that your companion will enjoy traveling as much as you do. And when you have a family, have children, traveling is just not the same.
With my dad in Asia visiting family right now, I was expected to join him for the later half of September. But with my cruise plans in play for October/November, I’ve decided to re-work that. My dad will be returning to Xian in the Spring to finish with his examinations (for his Chinese medical course). The plan is to travel with my mom to Hong Kong at that time before we reunite with my dad in Xian. At that time, we’ll visit some of the other Chinese cities (i.e. Beijing) and hopefully some other Asian countries as well.
+ on relocating
It had never ever crossed my mind before. There has always been something about this city that kept me tied down. Maybe because I’ve never lived anywhere else before, my entire family is here and I thought that they would want me to stay.
I had a conversation with my mom a few weeks ago. I was shocked when she encouraged me to consider relocating. After our talk, I could only think of one thing. Could it be that, all this time, I just didn’t like the thought of change? Could it be that the only person who had me tied down was…myself? Did I just make another assumption that this is where I should be?
I had many questions, and I didn’t have any answers for them. But what I did know was that my mind was open to this new idea. And for the first time, I actively thought about where I wanted to go. I keep telling Vanesa and Tim that if (and when) they move to New Zealand, I’d jump on the plane with them in a heartbeat. But until then, I’m not sure I want to stay in this city. It stirs up one too many memories.
+ on being stubborn
When I told my mom about my plans for the cruise, I asked her what she thought. Her response was silent. When I asked again, she looked at me and said, “You are just like me when I was young.”
She went on to explain that I am similiar to her in the sense that when I have my heart set on something, it cannot be easily altered. For some people, this is known as “holding your own”, but bluntly put I’m just plain old stubborn. She knew that I was determined to go on this cruise and that her efforts to convince me out of it would be useless. So instead, she became supportive.
This made me realize that I AM a very stubborn person. For almost 5 and a half years, I convinced myself that he was the one thing I wanted in life. No matter how hard people tried to change what I thought, I stood by my belief. I was stubborn. But now I’m realizing that the ONE thing I want is the one thing I’m never going to have. So instead of being stubborn, maybe it’s time I move on from it.