she’s smiling again ;)

I’ve finally managed to climb out of that hole.  These past few weeks have been unreal to me.  Clearly, I was getting way too comfortable with my independence that I began isolating myself from the world, and it turned out to be rather scary.  You don’t understand how glad I am to finally feel sane again.  Nonetheless, it was nice to be reminded how comforting it can be to have friends who stick around.  It’s always the little things that make a big difference.

*Thanks…
Vanesa for being the bestest best friend in the most dire time of need.
Hayden Y. for always being there, no matter how many times I fail to email you.
Norm for never failing to make me smile and laugh.
Andrew W. for the talks; I hope things will soon work out for you too.
Kim for your email and concern (I still can’t believe you’re dating an Asian!)
Pam for your support and for being such an inspiration to me.
Mei for being an awesome study buddy!
Tommy L. for your continued support and concern.

And if there’s one thing I learned……..sh!t happens.

sorry…if i snapped at you

Since the beginning of the new year, things just haven’t been getting any better.  I’ve sort of been stuck with this dark mood for weeks.  I just can’t part with it no matter how hard I try.  It’s like I’m falling deeper and deeper into a hole, and it just becomes harder and harder for me to get back out.

There’s been a lot of matters floating at the top of my head.  I just recently found out that one of my (many) cousins is undergoing treatment for cancer.  Pre-occupied by work, I still haven’t had time to go see him.  Going into second week of school, I’m already trying to get on top of things to make sure I stay on track this semester.  If all goes as planned, I’ll graduate at the end of the summer.  That also makes me think about what I’ll be doing from there on, whether it’d be taking up another program or getting a full-time job.

It also just recently hit me that, soon, I’ll be celebrating my 5th anniversary of being single.  There are times when I wish I had someone to lean on, someone to make me smile when I’m down, just someone to be there to share both the good and bad.  But then, is now the right time?  I guess it doesn’t make things any better when the only guys who are asking me out are much older men out of my race (feel free to call me racist for only being attracted to Asians). 

To make matters worse, I’ve lost my group of friends who usually act as my safety net; ones whom I can call up without hesitating just to talk.  Having been busy all of last year, I’ve drifted apart from many of my friends.  If they haven’t betrayed me, they’ve walked off or is busy with their own lives.  It’s as if I turn around to look for someone to talk to but no one is there. 

And to top it off, I’ve been having small arguments with my parents.  Sometimes, I get upset at myself for being irritated.  Other times, I just don’t want to be home to face them.  And I wonder, if I can’t even come home to my family, then where can I go?

for your listening pleasures

Just thought I’d share this video clip with you all. I think it’s an amazing performance.

If you don’t already know, it’s Jay Chou and Yu Hao performing at the 16th Golden Melody Awards. Notice how Jay is in a white suit with a black shirt and black piano, while Yu Hao has the complete opposite?! Great co-ordination there. Besides that, I think the music is amazing; giving a piece of classical music a modern twist, combining it with Jay’s music, and topping it with a Super Mario melody. How awesome is that?!

2007 kick off

This post is long overdue.  I’ve been consumed by work these past 3 weeks, mainly working extended hours at Chapters.  Like every year, the Christmas season at Chapters was brutal.  Since December 18th, I’ve only had three days off.  Aside from the long hours, I’ve been constantly running around the store with armfuls of books.  I’m starting to feel pains in the back of my waist from the way I position myself when carrying stacks of books.  Hopefully, I haven’t caused too much damage.

I’m not going to do a re-cap of 2006.  Those who’ve kept up-to-date with me already know that it was a long year for me, and I’m not about to review it.  It wasn’t a bad year at all; it just consisted of way too much work.  I don’t have a habit of making new year resolutions, but I’ve decided to give it a shot with my three resolutions this year: 1) work less, 2) graduate from my program, and 3) spend more time with those whom I didn’t get a chance to catch up with in ’06.

With my new year resolutions in play, I did a pretty good job at starting it off.  On New Year’s Day, I went out for dinner with my buddies from Chapters.  We had a good time at the Midtown Restaurant (the former Summit Grill House) and at Timmies after dinner (yes, Georgia and I were traitors with our Starbucks’ drinks).  We laughed over stories of Andrew W. burning down school buses, Omar blowing up black cats in his hands, Ron egging people, and Georgia’s crazy grandfather and his bicycle stunts.  Perhaps Andrew B., Susie, and I were the only normal kids there.  :P  …well, sort of.